Getting back to Lipa after a successful day's cooker shopping I came across a chap on the square singing joyfully into a microphone with dreadful feedback problems. A few people were clapping and dancing dementedly as he warbled wretchedly and after a while I realised he was singing about Jesus, which immediately perked me up, happy to see fellow Arsenal fans in this unexpected spot, singing the praises of our no. 9 striker from Sao Paulo in Brazil. I was hoping for a rendition of 'Jesus plays for Arsenal, Jesus plays for Arsenal, Lalalalala' but he didn't know that one and as his singing got worse I made to leave but had my path blocked by an insistent looking woman who introduced herself as a messenger of Jesus Christ the saviour who could save me. She also wanted to pass on a message from Jesus Christ that he loves me and wants to introduce me to God who is, apparently, my creator. I had a look around and couldn't see God so I told her that I lean towards Buddhism and don't believe in any gods.
This didn't go down well at all.
"So you think we are related to monkeys?"
It was an accusation of my evident stupidity rather than a question and in one simple statement she had ridiculed my personal beliefs while fully expecting me to sit there listening to her blither on about her own iron age fantasies of imaginary friends in the sky.
When I said yes, I do believe humans descend from monkeys, she recoiled in shock, fury in her eyes before a look of pity as she threw her arms around my neck and said, "You need a hug. I'm passing on the love of Jesus to you."
I wasn't comfortable with this at all and wondered about her reaction if I did the same to her. A family member had once tried the same trick and went on to tell me that he'd found Jesus when high as a kite on cocaine (he was on cocaine, not Jesus, although maybe he was too). Cocaine is a drug that boosts the ego and makes already arrogant people even worse, to the point where they believe they are Jesus Christ himself.
This didn't go down well at all.
"So you think we are related to monkeys?"
It was an accusation of my evident stupidity rather than a question and in one simple statement she had ridiculed my personal beliefs while fully expecting me to sit there listening to her blither on about her own iron age fantasies of imaginary friends in the sky.
When I said yes, I do believe humans descend from monkeys, she recoiled in shock, fury in her eyes before a look of pity as she threw her arms around my neck and said, "You need a hug. I'm passing on the love of Jesus to you."
I wasn't comfortable with this at all and wondered about her reaction if I did the same to her. A family member had once tried the same trick and went on to tell me that he'd found Jesus when high as a kite on cocaine (he was on cocaine, not Jesus, although maybe he was too). Cocaine is a drug that boosts the ego and makes already arrogant people even worse, to the point where they believe they are Jesus Christ himself.
The only higher being I do know of is featured in the photographs above and on this religious theme an angel did appear in the sky in the form of Krystina Pyszkova from Trinec on the far eastern Czech border with Poland as her name suggests. The student of law at Prague's Charles university has recently been crowned Miss World at this year's beauty pageant held in Hindu India.
At about the same time, another blonde in the news is Stormy Daniels, a US pornstar who suffered the horrendous experience of coming out of her bathroom to find Donald Trump wearing only underpants sitting on her bed. She did survive the ordeal to tell the tale to a New York courtroom where he is being prosecuted for being a grade A asshole or similar.
Watching these stories unfold in the news I noticed that Stormy has an uncanny likeness to Miss World.
At about the same time, another blonde in the news is Stormy Daniels, a US pornstar who suffered the horrendous experience of coming out of her bathroom to find Donald Trump wearing only underpants sitting on her bed. She did survive the ordeal to tell the tale to a New York courtroom where he is being prosecuted for being a grade A asshole or similar.
Watching these stories unfold in the news I noticed that Stormy has an uncanny likeness to Miss World.
Personally, I'd say the girl who works in the pub in our little town is better looking than both of them.